Day 19

I have recovered from my brief lapse of madness and am now in a better place.  It helped that I had lunch with my friend and ex-boss, Jordan, and that the lunch included french fries. We dined at Alba, which if you happen to live in Des Moines I would definitely recommend during their lunch service.  I ate the hummus vegan burger and reveled in the marvelousness that is their french fries.  The only downer about lunch was when I asked if they had vegan mayo, they brought out soy mayo made out of eggs.  Dammit eggs - you are my bane of existence.  That and cheese, which obviously drives me to the brink of insanity.  Luckily I had french fries to regulate the brain chemistry.

I think I have to eat dinner before 6:30 pm in order to 1.) Not feel like I'm starving; and 2.) Not become a maniac.  Like a werewolf and the full moon almost.  Or a mogwai.  Yes, that is a much better analogy.  Tonight was good.  Jason made dinner, I washed dishes, Malea did homework, and Isaac turned around in circles trying to get dizzy while eating a banana.  Just another typical night in the Van Brocklin household.

Day 19 Menu:

• Breakfast - Chocolate banana protein shake (so sad the chocolate almond milk ran out but we'll probably not purchase the Silk brand that has too much sugar) and english muffin w/ peanut butter
• Lunch - Alba's hummus vegan curry burger with spinach and pickled beets; DIVINE french fries
• Dinner - Grilled peppers, black beans, brown rice topped with salsa, cilantro, and green onion

Day 18

I was a raving bitch tonight.  I came home from work around 7:30 pm grumpy and starving, to my poor husband who had waited to make me a fresh hummus pizza but instead I just growled at him and ate leftover soup.  All that was on my mind was REAL pizza covered with sausage and pepperoni.  It was the most bizarre thing.

We were watching "Modern Family" and part of the episode was about Cameron and Mitchell going on a juice fast.  Mitchell was describing the six stages and the slow descent into madness that he has observed Cameron go through as he is starving himself.  Can't lie, a few of those stages completely resonated with me.  Especially the "Despair" and "Anger" stages.  Especially right now.

Okay, I am being overly dramatic, I know.  But I seriously considered sticking my entire face into an enormous bowl of vanilla pudding with Oreos during lunch today and was ready to give this diet the big "F-you".  That was the anger-rebellion stage.  Then, coming home all I could do was groan about how I am depriving myself of all the joys of eating.  That was the despair stage.  Finally, completely bored with my drama, Jason asked me why I started this diet the first place and I seriously wanted to rip off his head.  That was the anger.  Again.

Thankfully, I went to bed and woke up realizing just how crazy I was last night.  Is this the "Acceptance" stage?

Day 18 Menu:

• Breakfast - Chocolate peanut butter protein shake and whole wheat pita with peanut butter
• Lunch - Tuscan vegetable soup, peanut butter and jelly sandwich, vegan apple-chesnut stuffing
• Snack - Wasabi peas
• Dinner - Tuscan vegetable soup, pita chips, roasted garlic hummus

Day 17

I'm hankering for a cheese pizza today, Chuck's style.  I've made a deal with Jason that after the 21st day we get to eat cheese pizza, ya know, just to see how I feel afterward.  Of course I will feel like shit.  Bloated and fat and shitty.  But I really miss pizza.  It's funny how in the past I used to rationalize my cravings and cheating by actually researching why it was fine, and actually beneficial, for me to splurge on crappy food.  I would argue about leptin levels needing to come up so I wouldn't plateau and all of that.  At least now I am rightfully admitting I just want pizza.  No rationalization or research involved.

Jason said he'll pass.  I shot him a dirty look and said, "Oh really??? We'll see about that."  Bad wife.  But that's still 4 days away, so hopefully I will change my mind or at least not feel like an asshole for wanting cheese pizza.  At least I didn't say pepperoni pizza (which is what the heart REALLY wants).

Day 17 Menu:

• Breakfast - Chocolate banana protein shake, english muffin (found one at Trader Joe's that was vegan) with peanut butter
• Lunch - Veggie lentils, chips w/guacamole
• Dinner - Udon noodle stirfry with broccoli, carrots, kale
• Snack - Veggie and flaxseed chips with salsa fresca

Day 16

I am like the Energizer Bunny today.  After a rough start in the morning at work where I passive-aggressively emailed all of the people who did not come to the Roast or Toast party I threw yesterday to feel guilty and donate to The Project, I got over it and forged ahead like a Mack truck.  I edited grants and reports, reviewed financials, and 90% completed revisions to the 2011-2012 Board manual.  Then, I came home, cooked dinners for two evenings, made fresh guacamole, washed dishes and cleaned the kitchen.  Who the hell am I???

I am now sitting on the couch ruminating over two weeks ago when all I wanted to do was take a nap when I came home from work.  When I fed the kids pizza and chicken nuggets, no veggies, and minimal fruits.  When Jason suffered through meals with little options and I didn't care.  Okay, that last one was a little rough and only 75% true.  It feels good to be productive and awake.  Let's see what this last week brings as I round out my 21-day vegan experience.  I have a feeling I'm not gonna want to go back...well, at least all the way.

Day 16 Menu:

• Breakfast - Chocolate banana protein shake w/ almondmilk; toasted pita with peanut butter
• Lunch - Soy chorizo and grilled veggies tacos; salsa fresca with chips
• Dinner - Veggie lentils (broccoli, carrots, celery, onion, tomato) and sauteed lemony kale

Day 15

I woke up exhausted this morning.  In retrospect, I was already looking forward for the day to be over, partly since I was co-hosting a party for my ex-boss and partly because there was so much work to be done.  Jordan, my ex-boss, has a sister, Heidi, who is the most amazing cook.  I was her bitch in the kitchen yesterday, preparing mise en place, chopping veggies, opening cans.  What I loved most about Heidi's cooking is how harmonious everything was.  All the ingredients were interesting, natural (not much oil used at all), and very well-seasoned.  Heidi grows a garden with some cool herbs.  I had never heard of summer savory, but it made her salsa sing.

Being in Heidi's kitchen inspired me to make guacamole today on-site at the party.  There was no oil used, fresh avocados, tomato, cilantro, onion, freshly squeezed limes, and a pinch of cayenne.  It was the SHIT.  The event itself was awesome, although not well-attended but so much fun.  We co-hosts and our support systems worked together harmoniously (just like Heidi's cooking) to set up and clean afterwards.

And I found amazing soy chorizo that is my new obsession.

Day 15 Menu:

• Breakfast - Chocolate peanut butter protein shake and toast w/ peanut butter
• Lunch - Soy chorizo and grilled veggies taco; guacamole; three salsas with chips (salsa fresca, roasted tomatillo and apple, mango); mexican cinammon cookies
• Dinner - Soy chorizo and grilled veggies taco; guacamole and salsa fresca w/ chips

Day 14

Today marked the end of my second week of the new plant-based diet.  Total pounds lost: 10.  Changes in energy level: about 50% more energy. I'm not feeling sleepy when I get home from work.  I'm cooking again.  And we've spent a lot less on restaurants this month. Win win win win.

Dr. Neal Barnard, founder of Physicians' Committee for Responsible Medicine (pcrm.org), says that you should not use the word "vegan" as a noun.  Instead, use it as an adjective to describe your dietary choices rather than define who you are as a person.  I'm liking these changes I've made.  Are they easy changes? Hell no. But they aren't the hardest changes I've ever had to make either.

Day 14 Menu:

• Breakfast - Chocolate banana protein shake w/ almondmilk; toast with peanut butter
• Lunch - Pita pizza w/ hummus and sauteed veggies
• Dinner - Basil fried rice w/ double veggies and no egg

Days 12 & 13

Last night and today I was in Cedar Rapids attending the African American Women's Leadership Conference. We got in last night in time to attend a gala that celebrates Black women history-makers, including Iowa's first Black woman judge. At lunch we listened to Dr. Terry Wahls, who overcame severe symptoms of multiple sclerosis, including confinement in a wheelchair for 4 years, through a change in her diet.

Needless to say I was incredibly excited to listen to Dr. Wahls. Right up my alley. I like that she puts a  disclaimer out there that the FDA is not endorsing her speech but rather she is looking to share her story with others. I get it, but have to tell you I also get why not a lot of people are successful. I think people can easily be separated into those who are okay asking for stuff and those who are not.  If you know me, you know that I am not the kind of person who is afraid to ask about options.  But last night and tonight proved to be a challenge as I tried to explain my dietary restrictions to very nice, well-intentioned people.

Dinner last night was okay.  I'm pretty sure there was butter in the mashed potatoes and can't swear there wasn't any butter in the mushroom gravy covering my mixed veggies.  Lunch however was a buffet and I was left with salad and heavily buttered broccoli and carrots.  The chef made a side dish of rice pilaf, which I'm thinking was cooked in chicken broth.  I didn't want to be hungry all day, which I knew would happen if all I ate was salad, so I downed the buttered veggies.  So that was my bad word of the past two days - BUTTER.

Like I said, I have no problems whatsoever asking to see if they had vegan options during my trip, but it was certainly uncomfortable.  I felt like I was a burden.  I texted Jason on my way home from Cedar Rapids and demanded nicely we go somewhere I know I can eat a hearty meal without feeling guilty.  Probably best to pack a cooler and request a refrigerator next time I travel.  

Day 12 Menu:

• Breakfast - Nature's Path Blueberry Cinnamon cereal w/ fresh blueberries and almondmilk
• Lunch - Black bean and corn salad w/ mango lime cilantro rice
• Snack - Carrots, pita chips and roasted garlic hummus
• Dinner - Salad, ciabbatta bread, green beans almondine, mashed potatoes, veggies w/ mushroom gravy (isn't the tablecloth fabulous?)

Day 13 Menu:

• Breakfast - English muffin w/ peanut butter, bowl of fresh fruit (pineapple, melon, strawberry)
• Lunch - Salad, sauteed broccoli and carrot, rice pilaf
• Snack - Trail mix w/ raw almonds, dried cranberries, banana chips
• Dinner - On the Border veggie fajitas w/ zucchini, yellow squash, red pepper, portabello mushrooms; lime cilantro rice and black beans; guacamole, salsa and chips